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Things to never ask until …

Thanks for tuning in the past few weeks to read up on great conversation starters, and getting to know me better. I got a few messages from my readers who asked, what are some questions you shouldn’t ask. So, I decided to write a post about this here because it’s true, there are some questions you just shouldn’t ask someone until you’re more familiar with them. Now remember, the purpose of my conversation starters posts were to encourage those introverts to feel comfortable in starting conversations with people. The intention was never for dating scenarios, which is why the following questions are those you should never ask because they can be taken the wrong way.

Here’s a few that come to mind:

  • Do you live alone?
  • What’s your marital status?
  • Where do you live?
  • What do you look for in a relationship?
  • Have you ever loved someone?
  • Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
  • Tell me about your family.

If you just met someone, do you honestly think the person would feel comfortable talking about their private life in that level of detail? Asking about work or hobbies or even dreams would be alright because they are more typical questions. However, when you’re asking about relationship status and family, it gives the person an impression that you’re interested in knowing more about them on a personal level, which can be uncomfortable if the person you’re talking to isn’t thinking that way about you. Don’t put yourself in an awkward situation that might get you on the outside looking in. Naturally, when you get to know a person better, you’ll find out more about them without even asking. They might bring up that they had a bad day, and it could be because of a family issue. Or, they might mention something about their children or partner, which gives you an answer about their marital status. Sometimes, the best way to get answers to things you’re curious about is to be patient. If someone trusts you enough to be your friend, they will naturally open up without you having to pry into their private life. 

However, always be attentive of the other person’s behaviour when asking questions. If at any time you feel that they appear uncomfortable about your question, don’t hassle them again or force them to answer. Respecting each other is part of a healthy conversation and what is needed if you plan on keeping in touch with them. 

Thanks so much for tuning in the past few weeks to learn about ways you can start a conversation to get to know others and to make new friends. It’s an important life skill that we don’t always have enough practice, but once you feel more and more comfortable starting conversations, you’ll be able to socialize with just about anyone.

Good luck!

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